In Search of Peace of Mind.

Which Way Did It Go?

Singapore Photo by Esther Feigenbaum

As an avid reader of self-help books in my youth, I always tried to keep an open mind. I took to heart the idea of listening to advice and weighing it as a possible course of action. Why ignore ideas that may be useful? My stream of mottos spurred me on: “Give it a shot,” and “What have you got to lose?” or “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” (courtesy of my mother) or “God helps those who help themselves” (also my mother). Ultimately, self-examination led me to pursue a path to personal happiness, contentment, and peace of mind.

A self-help tape advised me to look in the mirror, point my finger, and say aloud, “I like you.” This was one of my favorites. Once in a while, I enjoyed performing the ritual when I stepped out of the shower with a clear view of myself. Speaking out loud felt a little awkward at first, but I came to appreciate and enjoy the kind words first thing in the morning.

The idea of having peace of mind is a complex issue. Who wouldn’t like to have it? The problem isn’t having peace of mind. The problem is keeping it. Achieving a peaceful status is subjective and fleeting. How do I determine when I fully have it? For all I know, what I’m experiencing is only half a dose. I may be in the bottom ten percent or merely on the cusp. The only choice is to march on.

The great Dalai Lama offers many wise words about attaining a peaceful existence: “When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” One of his sayings I particularly like, “An open heart is an open mind,” embodies the ideas of love and acceptance. These are wonderful thoughts from a spiritual mind.

As insightful as the Dalai Lama is, I notice that he lives the life of a monk. He has plenty of time to think about how to achieve a higher plane of existence. The man has no children to worry about and no need to work in the everyday world with all its competitive forces. When he gets dressed in the morning, his wardrobe choice is pre-determined—like the Blues Brothers.

The Krishnas, on the other hand, have a more action-oriented approach. When you work toward peace of mind, the effort affects those around you. They suggest:

1. Start the day by taking on the most daunting task. Confidence and peace will follow.

2. Let go of things you can’t control. Stress will solve nothing.

3. Don’t worry about what others think of you. You will always have critics and admirers.

4. Don’t worry about results. This frees you from anxiety.

5. Be one with nature. Natural beauty helps you find happiness from within.

Although the Krishnas have good suggestions, our society is filled with the judgment of others. Peer pressure is what keeps many of us in line with social norms. Trying to affect the things we can’t control leads us to do better next time. In the real world, results are the measure of productivity which, in turn, influences income. As for nature, I’d say most of us are at one with nature. We check the weather report, grow plants, feed birds, bestow love on pets, enjoy parks, and admire the wilderness.

Achieving peace of mind requires meeting basic human needs. A primary definition for peace of mind relies on feeling safe and protected. Security is essential for personal happiness. Once we feel secure, we can work toward a higher, peaceful state of mind. In 1943, psychologist Abraham Maslow established a hierarchy of human needs. Number one is air, water, and food. Number two is safety. Number three is love and belonging. Number four is esteem. And number five is self-actualization—fulfilling one’s human potential.

If we live in a world where human safety is threatened, the higher levels of our thought, emotion, and behavior will erode. Peace of mind will disappear. Let us pray that doesn’t happen. But it doesn’t pay to be pessimistic. Mort Sahl said in his 1959 comedy album, “The future lies ahead.” How true. And, in the immortal words of singer/songwriter Dolly Parton, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” How did my mother miss that one?